i feel lost.......

by Autumn Taypayosatum
(Winnipeg, Manitoba)

i'm a 17 yr old girl who is turning 18 in 2 months, i'm pregnant. i known the guy since we were little kids, our parents grew up with eachother, but we never take each other family between me and my man. i had a crush on him for years, he didn't know. i hid the crush for so long until i left and never came back.

As yrs went on i always thought about him, until last yr April 24 i seen my older brother with his friend, went up to him, said hi, we both went on the bus and talked, leaving his friend out of it, i didn't recognize him or know his friend, so why would i bother? until my brother said that he was going to so and so's house, cause he was staying there, and i was like OMG! is so and so there to, OMG! i miss him so much! i wanna see him, its been so long! does he remember me or ask about me? but knowing this? his friend on the bus with my brother was the guy that i was talking about!!!! nd he butted in by saying i'm so and so!!! nd ever since then we gave it a chance. were still going strong but just recent i'm pregnant. which is a happy thing cause his family supports it.

But the sad thing is, this past week when i found out, i've been going to the docs everyday, nd i'm worried, they keep telling me that the hemoglobin is still rising but they can't find where its growning? not in the tube, not were its suppose to be? this is my first pregnancy! i'm getting scared cause this is my first nd i'm feeling guilty cause its my body, i don't get it, i didn't wanna be the one in a million thing, u know? its not an ectopic pregnancy or a miss carriage? so i really don't know? i'm shaky all the time. but i still do see a doc everyday. doing test. i feel like one of those animals that get tested for cosmetic make-up!