Peer Group Pressure Mounts

Parents face a rising tide of peer group pressure for their children. Pre teens face a monumental shift in development from elementary school to middle and high school. The pressure they are under is at new highs and their willingness to fit in at all cost is highly vulnerable. Middle and high school children are in a constant peer group review whether real or felt.

They are constantly comaparing one child, friend or foe to themselves or others. Peer group pressure is never more difficult that the early pre-teen years of development. It is very important to be there for your child and provide guidance and effective listening skills for them to trust.

Trust is the keyword. For your child to open up to you they must first trust your understanding of their world. Whether they are right or wrong is not of concern here. They need outlets to bounce difficult situations off of and if one or both of their parents is available and trusted then the task is far easier for them to truly open up. The more "they" talk unabated the deeper the information sharing will become and thus your ability to understand and perhaps provide guidance and suggestions for course of action is enhanced.

Most pre teens will think their parents are out of it. Not in touch with their age group. Heck we can't even text right. So where is the benefit. Sometimes the benefit is just being there for them and not judging their behaviors. This is a complex age period and doesn't go away quickly (if ever). Earn their trust and validate this over and over again by always being there for them. Sometimes it's appropriate to step in.

If issues of health and well being are at risk then by all means but do so in a win-win scenario. Usually they are guiding down a path that they truly want your help with but not until they are comfortable with your handling of their delicate world.