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Teen Space

by Julia
(New York City)

My parents are always instructing my every move. Or so it seems. I know this is a difficult time for both myself and them, I am 14. What I don't understand just yet are the boundries of where I can go and where they will be disappointed should I go.

I want to hang out with my friends and I want to go when ever they call. I know that isn't practical 100% of the time but I feel as though they should trust me more and give me more freedom.

This is where we usually get into long arguments that lead to me saying something that usually gets me thrown in my room. What should be a great place to be at times is more like a jail cell when these arguments take place.

I don't want to argue so what should I do? Just listen and do what they say? Shouldn't I have rights too?

Julia

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Teen Space

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Aug 04, 2008
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starstarstarstarstar 		Thoughts from an Imperfect Dad
by: Marc

Dear Julia,

As a father of a daughter I can honestly say that I worry when my daughter isn’t where I think she should be. I also know that it is nearly impossible to have a meaningful conversation when emotions are running high.

Consider postponing talks with your parents until things have calmed down. When the time is right ask for a family meeting to discuss a problem that you are having in understanding the parameters of your freedom. Use this conversation to find out what you can do to expand the freedoms of movement you seek. If they are unwilling to make immediate changes ask for a quarterly review so that you can know if you are progressing (put it on the family calendar) – that in itself should impress them!

Before you are done be sure to thank your parents for loving you enough to care. If they didn’t care they would allow you to do anything you wanted – regardless if it was in your best interests.

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